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How to Play
Chess Like an Animal
by Anthea Carson &
Life Master Brian Wall
illustrations by Linn Trochim
Reviewed by
Rick Kennedy
Mother’s House
Publishing, 2007
ISBN: 0979714478
softcover, workbook size (8 ½ x 11 inches), 69 pages
teaches algebraic notation |
Chess makes you smart...
Push pawns, not drugs...
Chess improves your academic performance...
Chess builds character...
I can understand grown-ups being excited about the benefits of children
learning and playing chess, but if we’re not careful we’re liable to turn
the Royal Game into a vegetable – “Push your pawns, Abby: chess
helps build strong brains eight ways!” Yuk.
| Fortunately, Anthea Carson and Brian Wall [Editor:
insert gratuitous link to Wall's column
Going to the Wall, right here at
Chessville!] have made sure to put a lot of
Fun into their How to Play Chess Like an Animal.
That makes a whole lot of sense, especially from a young kid’s point
of view. (Insert random comment about Brian’s well-known riotously
child-like sense of humor here. Rinse. Repeat.)
I mean, what preschooler or kindergartener is going to show up at the
chess club asking, “Please, sir or madam, would you teach me the
Second Bulgarian Variation of the Schliemann Defense to the Ruy
Lopez?” (And would you – if one did??) |

NM Brian Wall |
Carson and Wall have taken instruction on how to play the game of chess,
added a beefy glossary of chess terms, folded in some home-spun wisdom, and
spiced it heavily with frequently subversive silliness.

All of this is then poured over a menagerie of chess openings, from the
Alligator, Bird and Chipmunk, to the Raccoon, Radish and Raptor.
Hah! Fooled ya! A radish isn’t an animal, it’s a
vegetable. But like the Fishing Pole, the Mouse Trap, the
Lollipop, and Burger & Fries – it’s in there.
Each animal opening in the book is delightfully illustrated by Trochim, who
has in the past drawn animated characters from the “Flintstones,” “Scooby
Doo,” and “Fat Albert and Friends.”
|
 |
It makes the book attractive to adults, too, who might want to learn
to play chess along with their kids or grandkids.
As Wall writes:
My idea was basically to produce a book where Unorthodox Chess
Openings by Schiller meets The Little Prince,
Winnie-the-Pooh and Alice in Wonderland.
So you may find yourself reading about the 21 (twenty one??)
conditions that have to be met in order for the king to castle, only
to realize that, for example, #2 is “He is not playing a banjo” and
#12 is “The king must pat the rook on the head as they pass each
other.” |
And then there is the ultra-important Rule #99. (I’m not
telling.)
Some
of the openings are presented with just their first few moves, others with
accompanying stories or games. The Giraffe Attack, for example, is as
much a morality play as it is a way of starting a game. Some openings
are likely to be familiar to the reader, like the Bird (1.f4) or the
Orangutan (1.b4), while others are more obscure, such as the Lemming (1.d4
Na6) and the Raccoon (1.e4 e5 2.f4 h5). They can be as innocent as the
Smiley Face (1.a3 e5 2.h3 d5 – otherwise known as the Creepy Crawly) or as
serious as the Sicilian Dragon (1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 d6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3
g6).
All of it is designed to give the readers some ideas – and then get them
over to the chessboard to play!
If you are playing white, then you are in a very good position because you
get to attack. If you are playing black, then you are in a very good
position because you get to defend!
Levity guaranteed, from the stylized menu page courtesy the “Burger Rook
Café” to instructions on how to play Chess Bingo (a great idea, Anthea!)
How to Play Chess Like an Animal is not to be mistaken for Modern
Chess Openings, ChessBase Magazine, or How to Make Master or
Die of Boredom Trying.
Is How to Play Chess Like an Animal for you, or someone you know?
Ask yourself, is the following quote by Kasparov true or false for you:
“Chess is not skittles.” If it is true, then you, future
grandmasters and future world champions can all demur. All budding
pawnpushers, however, can safely get in line. That is, if you’re young
– or young at heart.
By the way,
the mirth continues onto the website,
http://www.chesslikeananimal.com/ where there is a wacky YouTube video.
Check it out.
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