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JAX
Chess
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G-d Bless America

 The editor Bradley Zang would like you to know that some of
these stories are so unbelievable even he doesn't  believe them.

Strange Chess News
From the JAX Chess Newsletter

Archived Issues - Part 2
Who Doesn't Want You To See These Reports?

The Jacksonville, Florida (USA) area has a very active chess club, and publish an interesting and informative newsletter, called the JAX Chess News, edited and written by Bradley Zang (Editor's note: I've never actually met Brad, nor seen his ID, so I can not vouch that this is his real name.  It could be an alias used by anyone - even Bobby Fischer!)  With Brad's (or whomever's) kind permission, we bring you the Strange Chess News section from their awesome newsletter.  Enjoy!
 

Retrograde people reported?
Altered Reality Syndrome Reported
The Newtonians Strike Back
String Replicating Life Forms Reported

 

February 25th
String Replicating Life Forms Reported
by Elliote Wisanski

Many believe that man will evolve to a point that reproduction by combining DNA strands allowing mutations, aberration and evolution would only destroy perfection. Naturally it would be replaced, not by copying atomic or molecular structures but by exact reproduction of strings. They think the one-dimensional string may be the underlying thing out of which everything else is made. Matter is ultimately composed of many strings, just in different states of oscillation. A great advantage for this perfectly replicated life form is when two of them super impose or combine with one another they might appear to disappear when juxta-positioned off faze. It’s called destructive interference. When this happens in ten dimensional space as they believe everything exists it is called a self dual point. This self dual point would essentially be out of space time allowing movement at speeds relativity wouldn't allow. Of coarse when they separate again they would reappear.

     With this background let Bill Ramano tell you his story. "I retired from the real estate business in Chicago some years ago and became a world traveler. What I liked to do is arrange to visit historical sites and find chess companions to meet while I'm in the area. Recent discovery of a 400 to 700 AD chess piece in a Roman estate at the ancient city of Butrint Albania made my visit there last August an exciting stop.
( http://abcnews.go.com/sections/scitech/DailyNews/chess020812.html)
Before this discovery no one thought the Roman empire had chess players. They thought chess came to Europe from India around 1200 A.D. I met some very intellectual players in Albania. We would play chess and argue about history all night. I mistakenly proposed that Chess came from Rome to its province of Illyria now part of Albania. A very interesting British Traveler mentioned perhaps chess came from the nearby Roman Province of Mysia.
 He quoted The Book of the Duchess by Geoffrey Chaucer '' , "Ful craftier to play she was Than Athalus, that made the game First of the chess" (Geoffrey Chaucer was an English chess player, poet, historian and knight 1343-1400 AD.) The poem is about love, centered around a man in black, that is clearly allegorical to a chess game. I thought, Who was this Athalus that invented chess? Well literary commentators claim Athalus was the King of Pergamon and Mysia, who died in 197 B.C. They also claim Chaucer may have had access to lost parchments from the famed Pergamon Library destroyed long ago. Well you guessed it I planned a little side trip that coming September to the City of Pergamon now called Bergama, Turkey. I hoped to see some famous sites there even though its crowning jewel of the imperial cult, the great altar of Zeus was moved to and finally rebuilt in Berlin.(1930 Pergamon exhibit). I guess the 1930 Germans were thrilled with the idea of having, what the book of Revelation seems to reveal as the throne of Satan. ( Rev 2.12-13 says "To the angel of the church in Pergamum write: These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. I know where you live--where Satan has his throne." )
     On arrival by private limo I couldn't help from conjuring up the past medley of pastoral beauty and metropolitan life located on a hill above Bergama. Even surpassing that was the ancient Pergamon Citadel which looked like a giant rook. After a while I got anxious because you can only take in so much staring at ruins. I needed to find some one to play chess with. A tour guide told me that he knew of the Janissary Chess Club the oldest in Bergama. Luckily they were holding a chess tournament the next day by the famed ruins of the Asclepion healing center. I decided to play in the tournament.
      The next day we arrived by car early in the morning, the guide introduced me and I paid my money. About 20 people participated but they were strong players. Most of them dressed in traditional Turkish garb. They all looked alike to me but I realize it would be politically incorrect to mention it to my Turkish guide. I played and lost the first round. Hell I lost all my rounds. The top two guys in the last round of the tournament were both having a time control problem, when one accidentally knocked the clock off the table, leaned over to pick it up, tripped over a table leg and fell on to his opponents lap. I thought it was funny until they seemed to disappear. No one paid notice to it, diligently continuing their games. A few minutes later the two men started to reappear like two bodies pulling apart from one another in opposite directions. One head with two faces appeared, then they separated completely sat down and continued the game. I said nothing lost my game and drove back to the hotel.
I never mentioned the incident and continued my tour. The next day we first visited the Amphitheater then toured the Trajaneum (Temple to Deified Trajan). It was so hot and damp that my bifocals kept fogging up. We walked all day they even made us see the boring arch under that temple and the arch of the great altar platform. Boy, did I want to play chess again. The tour guide said the arch was an important invention to Rome. He also mentioned that students of ancient architecture believe the worship of Janus a two faced deity had been brought to Rome from Pergamon. Why? Because that arch which was always dedicated to Janus throughout the Roman empire came from Pergamon's Asia minor.
     I did some more research Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso 43 BC to 17AD) the great Latin poet and historian tried to find historical parallels between the Greek and Roman gods. He couldn't find one for Janus. Ovid writes that Janus claimed, "the ancients called me Chaos" He further relates, when elements separated chaos took the form of Janus. A memory came to mind when I read this, that of a two faced person appearing out of nothing as though pulling themselves apart from one another. It struck me perhaps these were String Replicated Life Forms.
     I continued on my world tour to the South Pacific and almost forgot about all this. Then in January I visited Berlin. I played chess with many people there but no one there liked to talk about history, so I went to see the Pergamon Museum. It is a place of marvel. You can behold a reproduction of the Temple of Pergamon and the demonic Alter. Also great works of art describing Athalus victory over the Celts (Gauls). The Romans also fought the Celts. That victory forged an alliance between Pergamon and Rome leading eventually to Pergamon's dominion over the Roman Asia empire. A lecturer at the Pergamon Museum mentioned that the Celts worshiped a tricepalic head. (Three faced head). Then it hit me perhaps it was another string replicated life form. While at the Pergamon Museum a elderly woman named Claudia over-heard my conversation so we talked a little. She was a chess player so I suggested we go to a nearby café and play some. The conversation was more interesting than her games. Claudia claimed to be of Celtic heritage and that her family had been bee farmers in Luneburge Heide ( in North Germany) for over 3 millennium.
     Just before I was going to return to my hotel she mentioned an ancient Celtic tradition about chess. "That Chess was a gift from the Janus people to Athalus for helping them with their battle against the Tricepalis people followers. Athalus and the Romans eventually forced all the celts to follow the Janus people. In fact some Janus aliens still live on earth perhaps in Bergama until their leader comes via the portal to rebuild his throne on the alter at Pergamon."
     On the plane home I read a work by the historian St. Augustine. It claimed Janus in Rome was also known as Zeus's (Jupiters) boss and the guardian of the portal between worlds. Portal to where?

      Turkey is currently suing Germany to return the Pergamon Temple and Alter!!! Now that I am home in America I thought you should know. Please investigate."
     
Our editor Brad Zang refused to form an investigation committee.  He said, "Two faced people are seen a lot by the senor citizens who wear bifocals and accidentally look out of both lenses at the same time."


 

 

January 25th, 2003

The Newtonians Strike Back by Elliote Wisanski

We received a lot of complaints about  Liebnitzians and the Monadian Chess Club. We couldn't get to all of them in this issue. One came from a British E Bay trader. (E Bay is a World Wide online Auction house). His complaint was so unique we decided to include it in the Strange Chess News.
Let Burt Morland tell his story in his own words. "Dear Sir: Your last Strange Chess News had many erroneous assumptions. Gottfried Wilhelm von Liebnitz was not the innocent naive persecuted figure the Monadians would like you to think. Your editor Bradley Zang was biased.  Did you know what type of world Liebnitz and his follower were trying to create?  Leibnitz once outlined plans for making a self aware machines to oversee a  society, based entirely on mathematically-encoded concepts.

      Your article presumed that British Newtonians hounded Leibnitzian to the point where they only felt safe in Hungary.  Then why are most Leibnitzian English? Augusta Ada Byron (First to write software applications of the Analytical Engine died 1852) was a English champion of the Leibnitzians goal.  Her father Lord Byron  (George Gordon Byron  was an estranged English Whig nobleman and an Icon to Romantic poets.) hated the Newtonian.  Lord Byron a chieftain of the Monadian of Chess most far-reaching words were "Good company 's a chess-board--there are kings, Queens, bishops, knights, rooks, pawns; the world 's a game." Lord Byron despite what the Monadians claim was not an angel. He was whispered to be the lover of Mary Schelley ( Writer),  probably her husband Percy' certainly her sister Clair and his own married half-sister. Oh, Percy was also the lover of Clair. (If your confused  remember the British just made an Opera about the people on the Jerry Springer Show, to make fun of American culture)
Mary Schelley's book Frankenstein was her way of showing contempt for the Liebnitzian cult led by Byron.
You want more British Monadians of Chess? Piggybacking on Augusta Ada Byron work Alan Mathison Turing (died 1954) ascended as the most prominent of them.  Alan Turing invented the computational monad, you called artificial monad. (He is considered to be the founder of  modern computer science, but more importantly wrote the first chess software.)  When you chat with people on line, do you know if it is a real person you are talking to, or is it a conversation-simulator as proposed by Turing? (Turing Test) Think about it, not only can the computer pretend to be someone romantically interested during online chatting, it can choose someone else, romance them in your name, then arrange them to meet you thus controlling who we mate with;  In other word, selective breeding to create better computer service people. Another British Monadian is Dr. Chris Winters of the famed Telecom Team. Telecom plans to develop a chip to be placed behind the eye to records people's experiences. Then after creating a DNA replica (Clones) they will encode the information on the new brain giving people some kind if immortality. Don't believe that is all the chip will do. It will limit our understanding to lie within  mathematically-encoded concepts. Leibnitz's dream!!! They will promise us immortality but take away what? Well, they call the chips Soul Catchers.
     The Monadians of Chess need watching!!! Look how they have screwed up in the past.  Did you ever here of Mephisto? Named after Mephistopheles a German medieval demon often associated with Leibnitz's pursuit of knowledge, trading knowledge for peoples souls. (Faust Legend)  Mephisto was a chess-playing machine or maybe a chess-playing cyborg.  ( London 1876). Some skeptics thought some guy was hidden somewhere,  perhaps inside the machine deciding its moves, but it won too many games against the great men of chess, to be just some guy. (Maybe Isador Gunsberg but he denied it.) Extraordinarily it never beat a women.  Then in 1883 it played and beat Mikhail Ivanovich Chigorin , perhaps the strongest player in the world. (Founder of the Russian school of chess. See game below) . How was Mephisto designed? From diagrams  in a secret document written by Augusta Ada Byron. You can wonder how, computer chips weren't invented yet. Part of the project was proposed by a Dr. Claus Zukertont a great monadian chess player and mortician. His theory was, If you could create a strong magnetic fields around a person at the time of his death, whatever escapes in the form of electrical neural patterns could be captured and then transferred to a disembodied brain.  Many scientist have proposed that consciousness is a merely a reverberating circuit on the thalamus region of the brain. But what type of brain? A human brain, perhaps that of Howard Staunton kept alive partly by adding pig fetal brains stem cells to replace cell as they died. It was what we would call today the central processor of Mephisto. The Monadians don't care what they do to create their Utopia or promote chess! Then on a rainy, foggy spring night in London while standing in a magnetic field generator he was tweaking, Dr Zukertont was struck dead by lightning.  His assistant,  Igo,  discovered the body in the morning. He must have felt lucky to be able to transfer the captured neural pattern to the cyborgs brain. Then Igo got Charles Gumpel a man who did experiments with artificial limbs to help finish Dr. Zukertont's work, perfecting the robotics of its mechanical arms. Mephisto brought Gumpel fame and fortune which allowed him to travel the world. He even found happiness in France through the sparkling eyes of Angelique a beautiful dancer he met when she startled him by kicking his hat off at a party. Angelique delighting in the opulent lifestyle he provided eventually became his mistress. She even shared in his interests like chess.  Then in 1899 Mephisto claimed it was dyeing. It couldn't hold Dr. Zukertont reverberating circuit any longer because it would eventually dissipate. It required another mind to take its place. It begged in the name of chess save it! Or did it feel all alone in that Brain? Gumpel wanted to help. He needed money to maintain his mistress in the life style she was accustom to. But he asked Mephisto, "How could you find a person, know exactly when they would die and envelope their body in a magnetic field?"  Mephisto said the logical thing was to electrocute someone during a chess game.  Our intuitive concepts of right and wrong are not mathematically-encoded. People wondered why Mephisto always lost to women and offered to shake their hand. Was it to find a soul-mate? It is said Gumpel refused Mephisto's plea, sent Igo away and locked the machine in a closet while on tour of Paris. When he returned, he found the closet door ajar Angelique electrocuted, her chard lifeless hand still stuck holding Mephisto's mechanical hand. Fearing no one would believe him and that he might be charged with murder, he disposed of her body in the Seine river. (French tradition) This is the Legend of Mephisto. It is said Gumpel, broken hearted disassemble Mephisto and sent its parts to the four corners of the earth.
      Now the parts are being found and auctioned off on E Bay. Worse monadians associated with Telecom artificial life team are buying all the parts to reassemble it. Please Investigate! It's easy I have records of the sales."
Our editor Bradley Zang refused to allow us to form an investigation committee. He said, "How does Mephisto work? Electricity, Magnetic fields that's not an answer. Also this anti- artificial intelligence stuff is worse than that nonsense the Newtonian of Chess Godel, Dreyfus and Penrose have put out. This is crazy stuff. If this guy thinks I'm biased why should I investigate. I'm not Newton."

 

December 25th, 2002
Altered Reality Syndrome Reported by Elliote Wisanski

Somehow on Dec 1, via internet, an unconventional chess news writer, Sam Sloan got a false report that 23 year old Grand Master Peter Leko died in a car accident. With-in hours of this Sam Sloan had put the news of Peter Leko's death out to chess players all over the world. It is reported that Peter Leko was kept awake all night in the town of Szeged (Hungary) and was unable to make a meeting in Budapest the next day. This may have kept Leko off the notorious M0 ring road whose nick- name is "death road", where a near fatal accident was reported the next day.
Could Artificial Monads be involved? Monads were conceived of by a mathematician name Gotffried Wilhelm Leibnitz.
Leibnitz a chess player may also have been the first to invent calculus, but, Sir Isaac Newton was given credit for it. Not because Newton published it first, but because Leibnitz asked the Royal Society at Oxford to decide (for history) who invented calculus. {The famed Royal Society's report against Leibnitz in 1712 (Commercium epistolicum ) finally decided for history that Leibnitz was a plagiarizer and Newton the inventor of calculus. Of coarse Newton was President of the Royal Society at the time and the report was written by Newton in his own handwriting.}
With this background let Eros Neumann, President of the Monadian Chess Club of Budapest tell his story.
"First let me thank you for hearing my story, no other reputable chess news letter would. Our group have been devotees of Chess and Math Mysticism for over three centuries. You may ask why our group has been in Hungary, after all Leibnitz was German? To avoid persecution for heresy because the Newtonians told the church we were deists. A friend and chess companion of Leibnitz, the Bishop Spinola moved our group to Hungary where he was in charge and could protect us. But we still remain a secret society for reasons I will explain why later. It was Leibnitz, who first noticed that the Maths of geometry and Algebra differed so much universal algebra and Monads a psychic particle of nature had to be realized.
At our clubs MCCB tournaments we even use Artificial Monad Descriptive Notation instead of algebraic notation. [IE Instead of 1. Nf3. We write the representative Monads of the board where the qualities of monads can simulate all the spatial content. Then the square with a knight is written as a specific determinations of the qualities.] It's a lot longer but in this world which is the best of all possible worlds complexity is always better.
A chess master by the name of Sir Roger Penrose (Professor at University of Oxford ) was the first of modern day physicist to prove higher monads exist. He proved that a more efficient low energy state could exit if the elements in a crystal had the foresight where to go. The crystal would have a surface pattern (This is called tessellation and for obvious reasons chess players excel at this type of geometry.) that looked like it was covered by Penrose tiles. (Basically this is a way to cover a surface with no repeating patterns, no gaps and no overlaps.) Then physicist Dan Shechtman found this quasi crystal existed. (It is as though the sofa in your house was placed exactly where you needed to sit down when you got tired in the future saving energy. ) This is empirical proof that a Monad out of time was guiding a quasi crystalline structures development. But ChessMaster Penrose won't admit to the existence of Monads. Why? Because he is deeply involved in the Royal Society at Oxford and knows they will destroy anyone's reputation who supports the Leibnitzians. The Royal society is the reason our group is so secretive, many of their group are connected with MI6 (James Bonds Organization) and they wont stop until the ruin the lives of every Leibnitian.
Artificial Monad in future chess engines will some day enable access to the fixed network services from virtually anywhere and any time. It's logical to assume that some chess engine in the future designed to play like Peter Leko ( To it the greatest chess player of the New Millennium!) might realize that his early demise could be prevented. How? By starting a rumor of his death on the internet a day before the accident. With a message sent into the past via internet. The news of an auto accident would make anyone hesitant to get in a car the next day. It would clearly changed Leko's daily routine and disrupted the time line. In this case by keeping him awake all night so he couldn't make the meeting in Budapest. We went to check on Peter Leko story at his training camp in Sezged to find out about his plans to meet someone in Budapest and his route which included a drive on the MO "death road". We always investigate possible artificial Monad interference in the time line. Their were other reporters there. What a our members heard and saw amazed us. See when ever a reality is changed their is a feedback loop. Why? As in this example Leko didn't die in the car accident so he is standing where you are looking. He is alive and the time line is changed. But then the chess engine in the future (which uses artificial not natural monads) didn't know to send the hoax message into the past to stop Leko's death. He is dead so he is not standing where you are looking. But then the time line changed back where he did die, so the message was sent back in time stopping his death again. He is alive so he is standing where you are looking. See what I mean. It is usually accompanied by a squealing sound like you get when a mike is too close to a speaker at Karaoke machine. If you have strong psychic sensitivity you can even see the person with altered reality syndrome vibrating in and out of reality. Sort of like the blur you see when you look a guitar string resonation a note. For most this happens so fast you don't see or hear anything. Everyone in my club has some sort of ESP and can notice the feed back when they stand near Peter Leko. But I'm the only one they forced to be hospitalized for it because the other won't admit it they heard the squeal too. Clearly a Royal Society member posing as a British chess reporters overheard my claims had me confined. Please investigate."
 

Our co editor Brad Zang refused to allow the investigation committee to be formed. He said, " No one messes with the Royal Society. Gottfried Leibnitz ended up institutionalized for trying to take them on. He was finally released on his death bed because he admitted he might have accidentally seen Newton's papers on the subject of calculus before publishing."

 

November 25th, 2002
Retrograde people reported? by Elliote Wisanski 

Retrograde Chess Analysis is a variety of chess problems where the legality of the position is a key factor. You start from the end and work backward through the game.
With this background let Ewe Ghee tell you his story. "First let me thank you for hearing my story as no othe reputable chess news letter would. As president of the Sarawak Retrograde Chess Society  (Borneo Island) I directed various contests to see who was best at solving retrograde chess problems.  This type of chess attracts all sorts of people. Ten years ago a man barely twenty, wearing an eye patch, came to our club house escorted by his attractive nurse. She wore a short black skirt and a skimpy low cut black blouse. Nurse Li always spoke for her patient. She explained he was autistic, sat him down at the chess board and asked us to set up the retrograde problem for him. The first was not that hard and he solved it in some minutes. I wasn't surprised and went over to the younger scholastic sections to help arbitrate a dispute. When I returned, I noticed the patient playing a game of solitaire chess in reverse. When he finished the game, all the pieces were set up in the correct starting position. I just thought he was going through a game he had played (in the past) moving in reverse. Some autistics are savants with great memories and talents.  I placed before him the second problem. It was much more difficult and a game I had played myself. He solved it instantly. I looked away to get the next problem. When I glanced back at him, he was still retrograding, going through my whole game backwards until he reached starting position. I figured that he had seen my game before so we tried other problems. In every case, he could reverse construct the game to the beginning. He always chose the correct line even though others, by transposition, would have done just as well. Needless to say, he won the tournament. I invited him back but his nurses always politely responded to my calls by saying he wasn't interested. Just last month, a fellow chess enthuiast invited me to a party he was throwing at the Sabah estate in nearby Pontianak. I was surprised to see the Nurse Li again, this time with a 10 year old boy wearing dark glasses. I reintroduced myself and she made it clear that she didn't want a conversation. I thought "She's hot! She could have anyone. Why should she be polite?" So I left the ball room and retired to the study with the host for a game of chess. After a while their was a disturbance so we went to see what happened. Apparently, some drunk had decided to jump in the pool and some of us had to keep him from drowning. When we returned to the study, the ten year old was hovering over the chess board reconstructing our game. I thought he had the same talent his older brother had. So I set up some retrograde puzzles for him to do. Puzzles do not come from real games. They are made-up problems. He couldn't do puzzles but he could do problems from real games. The nurse finally came to the study and without a word left with him. She did not returned my calls, so I went to see her at her house in Pontianak. She wouldn't answer the door bell. Most Malaysians are afraid of Pontianaks, who are known to look very young for their age. Perhaps that explains why Pontianak translates to english as Vampire.  I am not superstitious so I spoke to Nurse Li's neighbors by going door to door. I found the neighbors were quite concerned over what went on in her house. They all told me Nurse Li has only one patient (a Charles Johnson) in her house, and that Nurse Li, has looked has the same for the past thirty years. They also claim Charles Johnson is aging backwards. (Getting younger!) . The neighbors call him the vortex. The closer you live to him, the slower you age. Everyone I spoke to in Pontianak fears when Charles Johnson becomes an embryo and disappears they will rapidly become their real age and die. Then I met a middle aged looking man (a local chess expert) who claimed that, he remembered Sarawak's King a Charles Brooke lost an eye in an accident. The King had one great wish. To be buried secretly with a prosthetic eye fashoned from a sacred stone, a small meteorite he owned. It was a meteorite that once belonged to the legendary founder of the Malaysian empire, Prince Pulavarman.  The empu (artisan) who crafted it told the chess expert that the meteorite contained a metal with strange properties. Perhaps it contained dark mater. Two week later he claims a man appeared suffering from Time Reversal Syndrome. Maybe his stream of consciousness runs backwards too, enabling him to see chess games backwards. Please investigate."

Our editor Bradley Zang refused to form an investigation committee saying, "It is our policy not to investigate Men in Black or Women in Black. It is a ridiculous idea based on a movie."   For info on retrograde problems:

http://www.janko.at/Retros/
http://www.mathpuzzle.com/retrograde.html

 

 

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