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JAX
Chess
News
G-d Bless America
The editor Bradley Zang would like you to know that some
of
these stories are so unbelievable even he doesn't believe them.
Strange Chess News
From
the JAX Chess Newsletter
Archived Issues -
Part 2
Who Doesn't Want You To See These Reports? The Jacksonville, Florida (USA) area has a very
active chess club,
and publish an interesting and informative newsletter, called the
JAX
Chess News, edited and written by
Bradley Zang (Editor's note: I've never actually met Brad, nor seen
his ID, so I can not vouch that this is his real name. It could be an
alias used by anyone - even Bobby Fischer!) With Brad's (or
whomever's) kind permission, we bring you the Strange Chess News
section from their awesome newsletter. Enjoy!
Retrograde people reported?
Altered Reality Syndrome Reported
The Newtonians
Strike Back
String Replicating Life Forms
Reported
February 25th
String Replicating Life Forms Reported by Elliote Wisanski
Many believe that man will evolve to a point that
reproduction by combining DNA strands allowing mutations, aberration and
evolution would only destroy perfection. Naturally it would be replaced,
not by copying atomic or molecular structures but by exact reproduction of
strings. They think the one-dimensional string may be the underlying thing
out of which everything else is made. Matter is ultimately composed of
many strings, just in different states of oscillation. A great advantage
for this perfectly replicated life form is when two of them super impose
or combine with one another they might appear to disappear when juxta-positioned
off faze. It’s called destructive interference. When this happens in ten
dimensional space as they believe everything exists it is called a self
dual point. This self dual point would essentially be out of space time
allowing movement at speeds relativity wouldn't allow. Of coarse when they
separate again they would reappear.
With this background let Bill Ramano tell you his
story. "I retired from the real estate business in Chicago some years ago
and became a world traveler. What I liked to do is arrange to visit
historical sites and find chess companions to meet while I'm in the area.
Recent discovery of a 400 to 700 AD chess piece in a Roman estate at the
ancient city of Butrint Albania made my visit there last August an
exciting stop.
(
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/scitech/DailyNews/chess020812.html)
Before this discovery no one thought the Roman empire had chess players.
They thought chess came to Europe from India around 1200 A.D. I met some
very intellectual players in Albania. We would play chess and argue about
history all night. I mistakenly proposed that Chess came from Rome to its
province of Illyria now part of Albania. A very interesting British
Traveler mentioned perhaps chess came from the nearby Roman Province of
Mysia.
He quoted The Book of the Duchess by Geoffrey Chaucer '' , "Ful craftier
to play she was Than Athalus, that made the game First of the chess"
(Geoffrey Chaucer was an English chess player, poet, historian and knight
1343-1400 AD.) The poem is about love, centered around a man in black,
that is clearly allegorical to a chess game. I thought, Who was this
Athalus that invented chess? Well literary commentators claim Athalus was
the King of Pergamon and Mysia, who died in 197 B.C. They also claim
Chaucer may have had access to lost parchments from the famed Pergamon
Library destroyed long ago. Well you guessed it I planned a little side
trip that coming September to the City of Pergamon now called Bergama,
Turkey. I hoped to see some famous sites there even though its crowning
jewel of the imperial cult, the great altar of Zeus was moved to and
finally rebuilt in Berlin.(1930 Pergamon exhibit). I guess the 1930
Germans were thrilled with the idea of having, what the book of Revelation
seems to reveal as the throne of Satan. ( Rev 2.12-13 says "To the angel
of the church in Pergamum write: These are the words of him who has the
sharp, double-edged sword. I know where you live--where Satan has his
throne." )
On arrival by private limo I couldn't help from conjuring up the past
medley of pastoral beauty and metropolitan life located on a hill above
Bergama. Even surpassing that was the ancient Pergamon Citadel which
looked like a giant rook. After a while I got anxious because you can only
take in so much staring at ruins. I needed to find some one to play chess
with. A tour guide told me that he knew of the Janissary Chess Club the
oldest in Bergama. Luckily they were holding a chess tournament the next
day by the famed ruins of the Asclepion healing center. I decided to play
in the tournament.
The next day we arrived by car early in the morning, the guide
introduced me and I paid my money. About 20 people participated but they
were strong players. Most of them dressed in traditional Turkish garb.
They all looked alike to me but I realize it would be politically
incorrect to mention it to my Turkish guide. I played and lost the first
round. Hell I lost all my rounds. The top two guys in the last round of
the tournament were both having a time control problem, when one
accidentally knocked the clock off the table, leaned over to pick it up,
tripped over a table leg and fell on to his opponents lap. I thought it
was funny until they seemed to disappear. No one paid notice to it,
diligently continuing their games. A few minutes later the two men started
to reappear like two bodies pulling apart from one another in opposite
directions. One head with two faces appeared, then they separated
completely sat down and continued the game. I said nothing lost my game
and drove back to the hotel.
I never mentioned the incident and continued my tour. The next day we
first visited the Amphitheater then toured the Trajaneum (Temple to
Deified Trajan). It was so hot and damp that my bifocals kept fogging up.
We walked all day they even made us see the boring arch under that temple
and the arch of the great altar platform. Boy, did I want to play chess
again. The tour guide said the arch was an important invention to Rome. He
also mentioned that students of ancient architecture believe the worship
of Janus a two faced deity had been brought to Rome from Pergamon. Why?
Because that arch which was always dedicated to Janus throughout the Roman
empire came from Pergamon's Asia minor.
I did some more research Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso 43 BC to 17AD)
the great Latin poet and historian tried to find historical parallels
between the Greek and Roman gods. He couldn't find one for Janus. Ovid
writes that Janus claimed, "the ancients called me Chaos" He further
relates, when elements separated chaos took the form of Janus. A memory
came to mind when I read this, that of a two faced person appearing out of
nothing as though pulling themselves apart from one another. It struck me
perhaps these were String Replicated Life Forms.
I continued on my world tour to the South Pacific and almost forgot
about all this. Then in January I visited Berlin. I played chess with many
people there but no one there liked to talk about history, so I went to
see the Pergamon Museum. It is a place of marvel. You can behold a
reproduction of the Temple of Pergamon and the demonic Alter. Also great
works of art describing Athalus victory over the Celts (Gauls). The Romans
also fought the Celts. That victory forged an alliance between Pergamon
and Rome leading eventually to Pergamon's dominion over the Roman Asia
empire. A lecturer at the Pergamon Museum mentioned that the Celts
worshiped a tricepalic head. (Three faced head). Then it hit me perhaps it
was another string replicated life form. While at the Pergamon Museum a
elderly woman named Claudia over-heard my conversation so we talked a
little. She was a chess player so I suggested we go to a nearby café and
play some. The conversation was more interesting than her games. Claudia
claimed to be of Celtic heritage and that her family had been bee farmers
in Luneburge Heide ( in North Germany) for over 3 millennium.
Just before I was going to return to my hotel she mentioned an
ancient Celtic tradition about chess. "That Chess was a gift from the
Janus people to Athalus for helping them with their battle against the
Tricepalis people followers. Athalus and the Romans eventually forced all
the celts to follow the Janus people. In fact some Janus aliens still live
on earth perhaps in Bergama until their leader comes via the portal to
rebuild his throne on the alter at Pergamon."
On the plane home I read a work by the historian St. Augustine. It
claimed Janus in Rome was also known as Zeus's (Jupiters) boss and the
guardian of the portal between worlds. Portal to where?
Turkey is currently suing Germany to return the
Pergamon Temple and Alter!!! Now that I am home in America I thought you
should know. Please investigate."
Our editor Brad Zang refused to form an
investigation committee. He said, "Two faced people are seen a lot
by the senor citizens who wear bifocals and accidentally look out of both
lenses at the same time."
January 25th, 2003
The Newtonians Strike Back by Elliote Wisanski
We received a lot of complaints about
Liebnitzians and the Monadian Chess Club. We couldn't get to all of them
in this issue. One came from a British E Bay trader. (E Bay is a World
Wide online Auction house). His complaint was so unique we decided to
include it in the Strange Chess News.
Let Burt Morland tell his story in his own words. "Dear Sir: Your last
Strange Chess News had many erroneous assumptions. Gottfried Wilhelm von
Liebnitz was not the innocent naive persecuted figure the Monadians would
like you to think. Your editor Bradley Zang was biased. Did you know what
type of world Liebnitz and his follower were trying to create? Leibnitz
once outlined plans for making a self aware machines to oversee a
society, based entirely on mathematically-encoded concepts.
Your article presumed that British
Newtonians hounded Leibnitzian to the point where they only felt safe in
Hungary. Then why are most Leibnitzian English? Augusta Ada Byron (First
to write software applications of the Analytical Engine died 1852) was a
English champion of the Leibnitzians goal. Her father Lord Byron (George
Gordon Byron was an estranged English Whig nobleman and an Icon to
Romantic poets.) hated the Newtonian. Lord Byron a chieftain of the
Monadian of Chess most far-reaching words were "Good company 's a
chess-board--there are kings, Queens, bishops, knights, rooks, pawns; the
world 's a game." Lord Byron despite what the Monadians claim was not an
angel. He was whispered to be the lover of Mary Schelley ( Writer),
probably her husband Percy' certainly her sister Clair and his own married
half-sister. Oh, Percy was also the lover of Clair. (If your confused
remember the British just made an Opera about the people on the Jerry
Springer Show, to make fun of American culture)
Mary Schelley's book Frankenstein was her way of showing contempt for the
Liebnitzian cult led by Byron.
You want more British Monadians of Chess? Piggybacking on Augusta Ada
Byron work Alan Mathison Turing (died 1954) ascended as the most prominent
of them. Alan Turing invented the computational monad, you called
artificial monad. (He is considered to be the founder of modern
computer science, but more importantly wrote the first chess software.)
When you chat with people on line, do you know if it is a real person you
are talking to, or is it a conversation-simulator as proposed by Turing?
(Turing Test) Think about it, not only can the computer pretend to be
someone romantically interested during online chatting, it can choose
someone else, romance them in your name, then arrange them to meet you
thus controlling who we mate with; In other word, selective breeding to
create better computer service people. Another British Monadian is Dr.
Chris Winters of the famed Telecom Team. Telecom plans to develop a chip
to be placed behind the eye to records people's experiences. Then after
creating a DNA replica (Clones) they will encode the information on the
new brain giving people some kind if immortality. Don't believe that is
all the chip will do. It will limit our understanding to lie within
mathematically-encoded concepts. Leibnitz's dream!!! They will promise us
immortality but take away what? Well, they call the chips Soul Catchers.
The Monadians of Chess need watching!!! Look how they have screwed up
in the past. Did you ever here of Mephisto? Named after Mephistopheles a
German medieval demon often associated with Leibnitz's pursuit of
knowledge, trading knowledge for peoples souls. (Faust Legend) Mephisto
was a chess-playing machine or maybe a chess-playing cyborg. ( London
1876). Some skeptics thought some guy was hidden somewhere,
perhaps inside the machine deciding its moves, but it won too many games
against the great men of chess, to be just some guy. (Maybe Isador
Gunsberg but he denied it.) Extraordinarily it never beat a women. Then
in 1883 it played and beat Mikhail Ivanovich Chigorin , perhaps the
strongest player in the world. (Founder of the Russian school of chess.
See game below) . How was Mephisto designed? From diagrams in a secret
document written by Augusta Ada Byron. You can wonder how, computer chips
weren't invented yet. Part of the project was proposed by a Dr. Claus
Zukertont a great monadian chess player and mortician. His theory was, If
you could create a strong magnetic fields around a person at the time of
his death, whatever escapes in the form of electrical neural patterns
could be captured and then transferred to a disembodied brain. Many
scientist have proposed that consciousness is a merely a reverberating
circuit on the thalamus region of the brain. But what type of brain? A
human brain, perhaps that of Howard Staunton kept alive partly by adding
pig fetal brains stem cells to replace cell as they died. It was what we
would call today the central processor of Mephisto. The Monadians don't
care what they do to create their Utopia or promote chess! Then on a
rainy, foggy spring night in London while standing in a magnetic field
generator he was tweaking, Dr Zukertont was struck dead by lightning. His
assistant, Igo, discovered the body in the morning. He must have felt
lucky to be able to transfer the captured neural pattern to the cyborgs
brain. Then Igo got Charles Gumpel a man who did experiments with
artificial limbs to help finish Dr. Zukertont's work, perfecting the
robotics of its mechanical arms. Mephisto brought Gumpel fame and fortune
which allowed him to travel the world. He even found happiness in France
through the sparkling eyes of Angelique a beautiful dancer he met when she
startled him by kicking his hat off at a party. Angelique delighting in
the opulent lifestyle he provided eventually became his mistress. She even
shared in his interests like chess. Then in 1899 Mephisto claimed it was
dyeing. It couldn't hold Dr. Zukertont reverberating circuit any longer
because it would eventually dissipate. It required another mind to take
its place. It begged in the name of chess save it! Or did it feel all
alone in that Brain? Gumpel wanted to help. He needed money to maintain
his mistress in the life style she was accustom to. But he asked Mephisto,
"How could you find a person, know exactly when they would die and
envelope their body in a magnetic field?" Mephisto said the logical thing
was to electrocute someone during a chess game. Our intuitive concepts of
right and wrong are not mathematically-encoded. People wondered why
Mephisto always lost to women and offered to shake their hand. Was it to
find a soul-mate? It is said Gumpel refused Mephisto's plea, sent Igo away
and locked the machine in a closet while on tour of Paris. When he
returned, he found the closet door ajar Angelique electrocuted, her chard
lifeless hand still stuck holding Mephisto's mechanical hand. Fearing no
one would believe him and that he might be charged with murder, he
disposed of her body in the Seine river. (French tradition) This is the
Legend of Mephisto. It is said Gumpel, broken hearted disassemble Mephisto
and sent its parts to the four corners of the earth.
Now the parts are being found and auctioned off on E Bay. Worse
monadians associated with Telecom artificial life team are buying all the
parts to reassemble it. Please Investigate! It's easy I have records of
the sales."
Our editor Bradley Zang refused to allow us to
form an investigation committee. He said, "How does Mephisto work?
Electricity, Magnetic fields that's not an answer. Also this anti-
artificial intelligence stuff is worse than that nonsense the Newtonian of
Chess Godel, Dreyfus and Penrose have put out. This is crazy stuff. If
this guy thinks I'm biased why should I investigate. I'm not Newton."
December 25th, 2002
Altered Reality Syndrome Reported by
Elliote Wisanski Somehow on Dec 1, via internet, an
unconventional chess news writer, Sam Sloan got a false report that 23 year
old Grand Master Peter Leko died in a car accident. With-in hours of this
Sam Sloan had put the news of Peter Leko's death out to chess players all
over the world. It is reported that Peter Leko was kept awake all night in
the town of Szeged (Hungary) and was unable to make a meeting in Budapest
the next day. This may have kept Leko off the notorious M0 ring road whose
nick- name is "death road", where a near fatal accident was reported the
next day.
Could Artificial Monads be involved? Monads were conceived of by a
mathematician name Gotffried Wilhelm Leibnitz.
Leibnitz a chess player may also have been the first to invent calculus,
but, Sir Isaac Newton was given credit for it. Not because Newton published
it first, but because Leibnitz asked the Royal Society at Oxford to decide
(for history) who invented calculus. {The famed Royal Society's report
against Leibnitz in 1712 (Commercium epistolicum ) finally decided for
history that Leibnitz was a plagiarizer and Newton the inventor of calculus.
Of coarse Newton was President of the Royal Society at the time and the
report was written by Newton in his own handwriting.}
With this background let Eros Neumann, President of the Monadian Chess Club
of Budapest tell his story.
"First let me thank you for hearing my story, no other reputable chess news
letter would. Our group have been devotees of Chess and Math Mysticism for
over three centuries. You may ask why our group has been in Hungary, after
all Leibnitz was German? To avoid persecution for heresy because the
Newtonians told the church we were deists. A friend and chess companion of
Leibnitz, the Bishop Spinola moved our group to Hungary where he was in
charge and could protect us. But we still remain a secret society for
reasons I will explain why later. It was Leibnitz, who first noticed that
the Maths of geometry and Algebra differed so much universal algebra and
Monads a psychic particle of nature had to be realized.
At our clubs MCCB tournaments we even use Artificial Monad Descriptive
Notation instead of algebraic notation. [IE Instead of 1. Nf3. We write the
representative Monads of the board where the qualities of monads can
simulate all the spatial content. Then the square with a knight is written
as a specific determinations of the qualities.] It's a lot longer but in
this world which is the best of all possible worlds complexity is always
better.
A chess master by the name of Sir Roger Penrose (Professor at University of
Oxford ) was the first of modern day physicist to prove higher monads exist.
He proved that a more efficient low energy state could exit if the elements
in a crystal had the foresight where to go. The crystal would have a surface
pattern (This is called tessellation and for obvious reasons chess players
excel at this type of geometry.) that looked like it was covered by Penrose
tiles. (Basically this is a way to cover a surface with no repeating
patterns, no gaps and no overlaps.) Then physicist Dan Shechtman found this
quasi crystal existed. (It is as though the sofa in your house was placed
exactly where you needed to sit down when you got tired in the future saving
energy. ) This is empirical proof that a Monad out of time was guiding a
quasi crystalline structures development. But ChessMaster Penrose won't
admit to the existence of Monads. Why? Because he is deeply involved in the
Royal Society at Oxford and knows they will destroy anyone's reputation who
supports the Leibnitzians. The Royal society is the reason our group is so
secretive, many of their group are connected with MI6 (James Bonds
Organization) and they wont stop until the ruin the lives of every
Leibnitian.
Artificial Monad in future chess engines will some day enable access to the
fixed network services from virtually anywhere and any time. It's logical to
assume that some chess engine in the future designed to play like Peter Leko
( To it the greatest chess player of the New Millennium!) might realize that
his early demise could be prevented. How? By starting a rumor of his death
on the internet a day before the accident. With a message sent into the past
via internet. The news of an auto accident would make anyone hesitant to get
in a car the next day. It would clearly changed Leko's daily routine and
disrupted the time line. In this case by keeping him awake all night so he
couldn't make the meeting in Budapest. We went to check on Peter Leko story
at his training camp in Sezged to find out about his plans to meet someone
in Budapest and his route which included a drive on the MO "death road". We
always investigate possible artificial Monad interference in the time line.
Their were other reporters there. What a our members heard and saw amazed
us. See when ever a reality is changed their is a feedback loop. Why? As in
this example Leko didn't die in the car accident so he is standing where you
are looking. He is alive and the time line is changed. But then the chess
engine in the future (which uses artificial not natural monads) didn't know
to send the hoax message into the past to stop Leko's death. He is dead so
he is not standing where you are looking. But then the time line changed
back where he did die, so the message was sent back in time stopping his
death again. He is alive so he is standing where you are looking. See what I
mean. It is usually accompanied by a squealing sound like you get when a
mike is too close to a speaker at Karaoke machine. If you have strong
psychic sensitivity you can even see the person with altered reality
syndrome vibrating in and out of reality. Sort of like the blur you see when
you look a guitar string resonation a note. For most this happens so fast
you don't see or hear anything. Everyone in my club has some sort of ESP and
can notice the feed back when they stand near Peter Leko. But I'm the only
one they forced to be hospitalized for it because the other won't admit it
they heard the squeal too. Clearly a Royal Society member posing as a
British chess reporters overheard my claims had me confined. Please
investigate."
Our co editor Brad Zang refused to allow the investigation committee to be
formed. He said, " No one messes with the Royal Society. Gottfried Leibnitz
ended up institutionalized for trying to take them on. He was finally
released on his death bed because he admitted he might have accidentally
seen Newton's papers on the subject of calculus before publishing."
November 25th, 2002
Retrograde people reported?
by Elliote Wisanski
Retrograde Chess Analysis is a variety of chess
problems where the legality of the position is a key factor. You start
from the end and work backward through the game.
With this background let Ewe Ghee tell you his story. "First let me thank
you for hearing my story as no othe reputable chess news letter would. As
president of the Sarawak Retrograde Chess Society (Borneo Island) I
directed various contests to see who was best at solving retrograde chess
problems. This type of chess attracts all sorts of people. Ten years ago
a man barely twenty, wearing an eye patch, came to our club house escorted
by his attractive nurse. She wore a short black skirt and a skimpy low cut
black blouse. Nurse Li always spoke for her patient. She explained he was
autistic, sat him down at the chess board and asked us to set up the
retrograde problem for him. The first was not that hard and he solved it
in some minutes. I wasn't surprised and went over to the younger
scholastic sections to help arbitrate a dispute. When I returned, I
noticed the patient playing a game of solitaire chess in reverse. When he
finished the game, all the pieces were set up in the correct starting
position. I just thought he was going through a game he had played (in the
past) moving in reverse. Some autistics are savants with great memories
and talents. I placed before him the second problem. It was much more
difficult and a game I had played myself. He solved it instantly. I looked
away to get the next problem. When I glanced back at him, he was still
retrograding, going through my whole game backwards until he reached
starting position. I figured that he had seen my game before so we tried
other problems. In every case, he could reverse construct the game to the
beginning. He always chose the correct line even though others, by
transposition, would have done just as well. Needless to say, he won the
tournament. I invited him back but his nurses always politely responded to
my calls by saying he wasn't interested. Just last month, a fellow chess
enthuiast invited me to a party he was throwing at the Sabah estate in
nearby Pontianak. I was surprised to see the Nurse Li again, this time
with a 10 year old boy wearing dark glasses. I reintroduced myself and she
made it clear that she didn't want a conversation. I thought "She's hot!
She could have anyone. Why should she be polite?" So I left the ball room
and retired to the study with the host for a game of chess. After a while
their was a disturbance so we went to see what happened. Apparently, some
drunk had decided to jump in the pool and some of us had to keep him from
drowning. When we returned to the study, the ten year old was hovering
over the chess board reconstructing our game. I thought he had the same
talent his older brother had. So I set up some retrograde puzzles for him
to do. Puzzles do not come from real games. They are made-up problems. He
couldn't do puzzles but he could do problems from real games. The nurse
finally came to the study and without a word left with him. She did not
returned my calls, so I went to see her at her house in Pontianak. She
wouldn't answer the door bell. Most Malaysians are afraid of Pontianaks,
who are known to look very young for their age. Perhaps that explains why
Pontianak translates to english as Vampire. I am not superstitious so I
spoke to Nurse Li's neighbors by going door to door. I found the neighbors
were quite concerned over what went on in her house. They all told me
Nurse Li has only one patient (a Charles Johnson) in her house, and that
Nurse Li, has looked has the same for the past thirty years. They also
claim Charles Johnson is aging backwards. (Getting younger!) . The
neighbors call him the vortex. The closer you live to him, the slower you
age. Everyone I spoke to in Pontianak fears when Charles Johnson becomes
an embryo and disappears they will rapidly become their real age and die.
Then I met a middle aged looking man (a local chess expert) who claimed
that, he remembered Sarawak's King a Charles Brooke lost an eye in an
accident. The King had one great wish. To be buried secretly with a
prosthetic eye fashoned from a sacred stone, a small meteorite he owned.
It was a meteorite that once belonged to the legendary founder of the
Malaysian empire, Prince Pulavarman. The empu (artisan) who crafted it
told the chess expert that the meteorite contained a metal with strange
properties. Perhaps it contained dark mater. Two week later he claims a
man appeared suffering from Time Reversal Syndrome. Maybe his stream of
consciousness runs backwards too, enabling him to see chess games
backwards. Please investigate."
Our editor Bradley Zang refused to form an
investigation committee saying, "It is our policy not to investigate Men
in Black or Women in Black. It is a ridiculous idea based on a movie."
For info on retrograde problems:
http://www.janko.at/Retros/
http://www.mathpuzzle.com/retrograde.html
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