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Chessville
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Thompson's Vengeance Once Thompson had decided to fight back against a malign Fate instead of just enduring its vindictive attacks, his personality became gradually more aggressive. Sometimes the results were positive, and sometimes negative, but never dull. However, on one occasion it was not Fate that dealt him a blow, but an individual - namely Jumbo Pratt, the chess club joker. When Thompson retaliated the results were spectacular.
Jumbo worked in the local garden centre and had arranged discounts for his fellow club members, many of whom were keen gardeners. Thompson wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about gardening, but every now and again his wife would nag him into improving their small plot. Having been persuaded by Mrs. Thompson to brighten up the garden, Thompson arranged with Jumbo to visit the garden centre to select various plants at a discount. This provided Jumbo with the opportunity to perpetrate one of his most ingenious practical jokes.
Jumbo is a bit like a member of the Magic Circle. His methods are closely guarded secrets, and I have been sworn to silence about the details of the jape he played on Thompson. I can say only that it involved, amongst other things, a parsnip, ice cubes, a piece of string and an old flower pot, and resulted in extreme embarrassment for Thompson while purchasing his plants.
It was only a few days after Thompson’s experience at the garden centre that Jumbo turned up at the chess club supporting himself on a crutch. He was a keen rugby player and during a ruck had sustained a torn ligament which would take several weeks to heal. Naturally he did not let this unfortunate accident prevent him from making his normal weekly visits to the chess club. He did however have to put up with a lot of the banter about the various ways in which he could have sustained his injury, such as falling off the chess board, injuring himself whilst checkmating, and so on. Thompson saw an opportunity for revenge. He noted that Jumbo’s crutch was of the type which screwed together, and in readiness for the next meeting of the chess club made a visit to the local toy shop.
At the following week’s club meeting Thompson was seen fiddling with Jumbo’s crutch which he had laid beside him while he played. Engrossed in his game, Jumbo failed to notice this. When Flipper Powell was about to draw Jumbo’s attention to Thompson’s nefarious activities he was quickly “shushed” by those of us who sensed another eventful evening’s entertainment.
We were not disappointed. Jumbo won his game in fine style and was therefore not in the customary state of alertness which was necessary to guard against reprisals from those who had been subjected to his multifarious pranks. He therefore suspected nothing when Thompson was unusually assiduous in helping him up and on to his crutch. Shortly afterwards he literally came down to earth with a bump.
Thompson skillfully manoeuvred Jumbo so that his first movement towards the door was a swing forward, with his crutch taking his considerable weight. This resulted in a bright flash of light and a tremendous crack. Taken by surprise, Jumbo lurched forward and tripped over a chair which I suspect had been strategically placed by Thompson, although he later denied this. The crutch shot out to the side, demolishing a game being played by two innocent and unsuspecting club members. Jumbo crashed spectacularly to the floor, scattering several boards, players and tables around the room. The resulting commotion attracted the janitor of the building, and it took some considerable time and diplomacy to prevent him from carrying out his threat of a complete ban on the chess club and its members.
By now Thompson had disappeared, which was just as well in view of Jumbo’s awesome rage, but on the way home I bumped into him and he explained how he had exacted his revenge. In contrast to Jumbo’s elaborate deception, Thompson’s only equipment had been a large quantity of those caps which are used in children’s pistols to simulate gunshots. He had inserted them into the separate sections of the crutch before carefully screwing it together again.
There was an extra-large turnout at the club the following week. Word had got around about how Thompson had avenged himself and more fireworks were expected. Both protagonists duly turned up, but Banger Haswell, who was now club chairman, had anticipated hostilities and arranged for them to be kept apart. With great tact he talked to each of them separately, pointing out that they had both succeeded in outwitting the other and could therefore regard themselves as even. Jumbo ruefully admitted that he now knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of a practical joke and was prepared to call it quits. He then suggested they made up with a game of chess, which Thompson readily agreed to.
The following game then took place with great courtesy but just a hint of “needle.”
Thompson drew White. On impulse, remembering his previous success with the Blackmar-Diemer Gambit while in a state of concussion (although he insisted he could not recollect the games or the analysis), he courageously decided to try it again and opened with pawn to queen four. Jumbo, replying with pawn to queen four in expectation of a Queen’s Gambit, was surprised by pawn to king four. Of course he remembered the occasion when Thompson had twice demolished Bill Grimshaw with the BDG, but he took up the challenge with king pawn takes pawn. After knight to queen bishop three Jumbo decided to try something different and played pawn to king four. At this point Thompson’s scanty knowledge of the BDG was exhausted so he just developed with bishop to king three.
Jumbo, seeing the possibility of hanging on to his gambit pawn, played pawn takes pawn and Thompson had to reply bishop takes pawn. Jumbo’s knight to queen bishop three was met by bishop to knight five and the pin was immediately relieved with bishop to queen two. Scornfully ignoring the en prise black pawn, Thompson made another developing move with king’s knight to king two.
By now the whole club was watching the game with great interest and someone was heard to enquire whether Thompson had met with one of his accidents and was again concussed. The lively discussion which ensued had to be brought to a halt by the chairman in fairness to the players. The game continued as Jumbo went for further exchanges with knight takes bishop. Thompson played queen takes knight , then Jumbo nudged at the bishop with pawn to queen’s bishop three. Thompson, again ignored black’s king pawn and retreated with bishop to bishop four.
Jumbo seized the opportunity to consolidate his extra pawn with pawn to king’s bishop four, disregarding Thompson’s great lead in development, now furthered with castles queenside. At this point Jumbo thought for some time before deciding to deflect Thompson’s queen from taking the queen rook pawn if black castled queenside. He played the extremely injudicious move pawn to bishop four. This resulted in white’s queen moving to a much better square - queen to queen five - and incidentally threatening mate. Undeterred, and still bent on his faulty plan, Jumbo played queen to knight four check and, rejecting the interposing of his rook, Thompson moved king to knight one.
When Jumbo castled queenside Thompson (as he afterwards told me) thought at first that black was over his difficulties and had consolidated his extra pawn. He decided that drastic action was necessary and therefore did what perhaps only Thompson could have done. He told me afterwards, although I find it hard to believe, that he entered a state of voluntary concussion by some obscure mental process known only to himself. Apparently he had experimented with this form of self-induction after his success against Bill Grimshaw. The results were known only to Thompson and his much afflicted wife who apparently had to bring him back to consciousness on several occasions, by methods known only to herself.
The spectators
noticed that Thompson had become glassy-eyed, and began to murmur amongst
themselves. There was some debate about whether he should be roused,
but nobody was brave enough to do this. Banger ruled that it would be too
dangerous, both for Thompson and whoever might be courageous enough to
disturb him. Fortunately Thompson returned to what for him was normality
within a short time, his self-induced concussion having produced
inspiration. He proceeded to surprise everybody, and not least Jumbo, with a
brilliant move which forced mate. Strangely enough, it was a move already
seen in one of his games against Bill Grimshaw, although the position was
not the same. The reader may care to examine Thompson’s second game against
Grimmers (see
Thompson’s Gambit.)
Jumbo congratulated his opponent with good grace and the two erstwhile enemies shook hands. Afterwards I asked Thompson what would have happened if he had not come out of his self-induced state of concussion. “Oh, it would have been all right” he said cheerfully, “Eileen would have known what to do.” Rather than get into an involved discussion I refrained from pointing out that Eileen had not been present, and left it at that.
It was another week before we were informed, after research by openings expert Specs, that the opening variation was the Lemberger Countergambit. Jumbo was quite pleased to learn that he had played an opening with such an impressive name. After Thompson’s memorable displays the BDG was frequently played at the club. Whenever anyone unleashed the thematic sacrifice of bishop to queen’s rook six it was identified as Thompson’s Concussion Theme.
And that is the end
of the Thompson’s adventures at our club. He left shortly afterwards.
His departure left a huge gap which could never be filled, and all the
colourful tales of his exploits which enlivened our chess club have now been
told (at any rate all of those which can be repeated.) We will always
remember the unique character who gave us so much entertainment, and who
knows? Some day he may return.
Copyright R. Canter, 2000-2006
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