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Chessville
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Thompson's Gremlin Copyright R Canter 2000-2005 In the earlier days of computing Thompson was one of the few members of our chess club who possessed a personal computer. He said it helped him to avoid errors in his postal games. In those days computer chess was in its infancy and machines could not play a very strong game, not that Thompson would have stooped to using a computer to suggest moves. However, computers were very useful in recording information and although Thompson’s machine did not prevent him from posting his own moves to himself on occasion, it did help him to realize that he had done so when he came to record the moves. He had devised his own system to flag whose turn it was to move. If he had problems with his computer he was able to consult a fellow member and computer owner, Donald Brian Evans, a Welshman who worked in the computer section of the university. DB, as he was known in the club, had, after much research, produced a chess database named DBExam which he offered to club members on a trial basis - a “beta version” I think he called it. The program did not play chess but recorded and classified chess moves in various ingenious ways. It was still very much a trial version with several known (and probably many unknown) bugs. DB hoped that feedback from colleagues would help him to perfect it. Thompson jumped at the opportunity to try out the database and installed it on his computer which, with his customary quirkiness, he called Freda. He said it was of the feminine gender and provided Far Reaching Electronic Data Analysis. Casual visitors to the club and new members were often confused and puzzled when they overheard Thompson relating what he had been doing with Freda. They usually had to be taken to a quiet corner and put in the picture about our eccentric club member and his strange ways. I recall Thompson’s wife telling me how suspicious she had been one night on hearing her husband having a conversation in his study with someone called Freda. On bursting into the room to “catch him at it” she had been abashed to find him talking to his computer. As people experimented with the database and reported back to DB on club nights his nickname changed, and he was referred to for a while as “Evans the Database.” That did not last for long however, and he soon became DB once more. There were many discussions about DB’s program and it was a regular talking point at the club. On one occasion the discussions turned into argument, and of course Thompson was at the centre of it all. However, in this instance it seemed that Thompson had finally rebelled against his unjust treatment at the hands of Fate and decided that, for a change, he would influence Fate. Unfortunately for DB this meant that he was about to undergo a Thompson-like experience. Thompson had appeared at the club and announced that when he had entered a move into the database it had replied with another move. Intending to record a variation of his favourite Polish opening, Thompson had been astounded when, as soon as he keyed in Pawn to Queen Knight four, the programme replied with Pawn to Queen Rook four. Pawn to Knight five resulted in the reply Pawn to Queen five, whereupon Thompson had decided to play on and see what happened. A lively and interesting game, won by DBExam, had ensued, and Thompson proceeded to demonstrate it to us from a print-out produced by his computer. DB insisted that his programme was only designed to record moves, not to make them independently. He thought there must have been a gremlin at work, and as Thompson was involved, this was a distinct possibility. After further discussion however, he was forced to admit that there was a remote possibility that the programme might do unexpected things as he had used what I think he described as source code. This code had been supplied by Boris, a fellow member of the computer fraternity living in Vladivostok. A harassed DB then hurried off to re-examine his programme. Whenever DB appeared at the club after that he was constantly pestered by people wanting to know how to get the programme to play against them, people who would not be put off by the explanation that it was only a database, as they had seen Thompson’s game. Thompson was usually to be seen lurking in the background, egging them on. DB had been unable to find any section of the code which enabled the programme to play chess, but he was experiencing great difficulty in contacting Boris in Vladivostok. Eventually he did manage to reach him, only to find that he was totally engaged in some sort of Russian flower festival. This involved folk dancing by Russian maidens and eligible swains, accompanied by balalaika music and much strewing of flower petals. It went on for a fortnight. Boris, as a highly eligible swain, was not going to be interrupted with chess trivia as he did not want to miss out on the chance of cavorting with various comely Russian maids. There was the possibility of finding a mate if his performance was up to standard. At the end of the festival contact was eventually re-established, but Boris’s English was not good, and DB had no Russian. It proved difficult to acquaint Boris with the problem. Nor did it help that Boris had not come up to scratch with his folk dancing. Having failed to impress his dancing partners, he was doomed to another year of swaindom, not having found a mate. After several communications he misunderstood what DB was trying to say and immediately threw a monumental Slavonic sulk. He was extremely peeved that anyone should question his programming. It was some time before Boris was finally persuaded to confirm that the source code definitely did not include anything which would enable a computer to play chess. By this time DB was heartily sick of being pestered about his programme, as well as being mentally exhausted from the hours he had spent searching through the code. At the next meeting of the chess club he sought out Thompson who only then took pity on him, confessing that he had made it all up - everything apart from the game, that is. The game was in fact a real one that had been played by Sjerven and Chappell (don’t ask me where he found it.) At this point DB’s patience finally gave out and he had to be physically restrained from attacking Thompson. There was so much noise that two of the building’s janitors appeared and removed DB from the premises to prevent violence. Thompson, in the role of injured party, looked so innocent and reasonable that he escaped their attentions. It seemed as if, at last, he was no longer the target of a malicious Fate. It was a long time before DB forgave Thompson, but all turned out well in the end as the database was finally perfected and proved to be an extremely useful chess tool. We also learnt that in the following year’s flower festival Boris’s dancing was so improved that he had attracted a partner who was not only becoming but also played a fair game of chess. However, Thompson was not given any subsequent versions of the database. Here is the game Thompson v DBExam, as played by Thompson’s Gremlin:
Thompson - Database 1.b4 a5 2.b5 d5 3.e3 c5 4.bxc6 Nxc6 5.Bb5 Nf6 6.Nf3 Bd7 7.c4 dxc4 8.Bxc4 e5 9.Qb3 Qe7 10.Ng5 O-O-O 11.Nxf7 Nd4 12.exd4 exd4+ 13.Be2 Re8 14.Qc4+ Bc6 15.Ba3 Qd7 16.O-O b5 17.Qc2 Rxe2 18.Qd3 Qd5 19.f3 Bxa3 20.Nxh8 Bc5 21.Kh1 Nh5 22.Na3 Nf4 23.Qb3 Qg5 24.g4 Rxh2+ 25. {0-1}
Copyright R. Canter, 2000-2005
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