The Real Reason Why Carlsen Pulled Out Of The World Championship
 

I thought I recognised the face.



Face recognition has always been big in my family.
I think it’s a family gift.  Not once during my childhood did my Mum
take home the wrong kid from school.  I have inherited this ability.

It was Magnus Carlsen.



(putting names to faces is also an acquired skill.)

Not just any old Magnus Carlsen, But Magnus Carlsen the World Chess
Champion elect Magnus Carlsen.

There he was strolling along Princes Street in Edinburgh.

“Hi” I said

Obviously the face recognition gene is not big in his family because
he looked like he did not know me,

“I’m Geoff Chandler.”  A bemused look crossed his face.



“Geoff Chandler….” I repeated.

(apparently names too have passed his kin by.)

“I play the Chess.”  I said slowly not sure if this guy can speak the English.
His face lit up.  “Oh that Geoff Chandler.” he replied in perfect English.
We shook hands.

“Just taking in the sights.” I asked.

He laughed. “I’m not a tourist, I was born in Scotland.” he put his arm
on my shoulder. “Come Geoff let us have a cup of coffee.”

So Five minutes later we are sitting in Starbucks and Magnus explains.

“I’m here visiting my family home, Castle Bleak on Loch Dreary.



It was burnt down in the ’86 rebellion and has been a ruin ever since.

He could see I did not believe him.



“Geoff, move the ‘M’.” he said.
“Eh?” I replied.
“Move the ‘M’ from Magnus and put it in front of Carlsen.”

“My real name is Angus McArlsen.  I’m the last of the McArlsens.”

In the shock I spilt my coffee.  A pretty maid appeared, wiped up the mess
and brought me a fresh cup.

“But why the Norwegian pretence?” I asked.
“Who ever heard of a World Chess Champion being called Angus?” he replied.
And then leaned closer and whispered.

“I’m also the last of the McArlsens and if any of the clan McMerry knew
I was around they would hunt me down and….”
His voice trailed off and he nodded knowingly.



I nodded knowingly, even though I never had a clue what he was going on about.

“Geoff, you have heard about the ’45 rebellion with Bonnie Prince Charlie?”
“Yes.” I replied.
“Well the ’86 rebellion was all about Ugly Prince Dennis.”

“Astonishing.” I replied.  “But why pull out the World Chess Championship,
you are pretty good?”

“Pretty Good, is that all you can say, I’m Pretty Good.“
He was raising his voice and people were looking.

“Calm down,” I said, “…There may be McMerrys about.”



He leaned closer and whispered;

“I’m very good.  But winning the World Championship would bring me
to the attention of the non-paying public and a McMerry would recognise me.”

And with that he got up and left.

I watched the last of the McArlsens cross the road and disappear around the corner.
Then I realised I had been left to pay to pay the bill.
He really is Scottish.

(That’s not Carlsen…whose is this nutter?.…Ed)

(Me…..)

Geoff

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